• KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
  • MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!

breadmaakesyoufat:

this one time when i was seven i thought that i could talk to trees (because i had no friends), and i use to sit by them and say things and one day i was talking to my tree friend called kevin and this girl went up to me and said “are you talking to that tree, freak!” and i started crying and hugged on to the tree, and while she was laughing one of the branches fell on the girls head, thanks kevin.